can't you have the decency to do that stuff where i can't see it

proper.  the way i want it to be whatever that is.  i want everybody else to do it my way, that's the way i like best.  nobody else does it quite right, only i do, some people almost get it right, some are just hopeless, can't deal with them when they're that way, when they're doing that thing that they do that isn't proper.

for example it isn't proper behavior to become possessed of the holy spirit in the midst of an orgy or a massacre.  or really to be disagreable to the flow of things in any way.

back to violence.  the thing struggles, perhaps valiantly, perhaps fearfully, then dies.  stuff comes out during and after the death.  if i'm eating it eventually everything comes out including inhabitants (95% bacteria they say) of large intestine, there is gooey wet stuff everywhere, everything is a mess.  but i'm eating it, its delicious, who cares.  the thing tried to get away, i didn't let it.  i held it down and hurt it and broke stuff and it tried to get away and it leaked red stuff all over everything & i killed it and i'm eating it & its delicious.

i've killed a few small animals for various culturally sanctioned reasons, mice lately.  there was a time in another place i thought i had a deal with a family of mice, they stay in that room, we get this one.  it seemed to work through a winter, i left peanuts for them on their side, they didn't visit.  not lately, sorry about that.  anyway, but i think back to the big juicy pieces of meat i ate when i was a kid, chew, chew, chew, the meat juice, a different kind of gush in the mouth, animal chemicals.  something different happens.  growl.

when they get torn its very colorful inside, various pinks & reds.  there it is, twitching trying to get away but its legs are broken, red stuff, tasty, struggle, all in one fulfilment experience for the lion, hyena, fox, hominid.  fear evoked in victim->rapid athletic sequence->presence of redness, bodily fluids->feeding.  the essential satisfaction loop.

each element of the routine evokes & echoes the rest of the elements including the satisfaction of the successful end point.  red, for example, or athletic activity. 

that is the eater part.  it makes no apologies, none are necessary.  there's a body, what are we gonna do, starve?  we have to work on that draw our chemicals directly from the environment & not to have to eat life.  who's working on that?  there is also that curious part that "feels" for the other side, flinches in sympathy when the thing is struck, falls.  feels sense of loss for the thing that is dead even as it is eating eat.  every now and then an organism exhibits that compassion thing, not only humans either.  but still we all take part, even if we're strict vegans.  plants, animals, what's the difference?  we continue our organismic personal existence & protect our gene line by ending the potential of all these other organisms.  that is what they call original sin in some offices.

i want to hear from some hunters and butchers on this.  what's it like inside your heads, doing what you do?