1. for every kind of deviant it is all discretion all the time
2. victim victual
3. pushing into the discomfort zone & making it comfortable
3 things: this, that, the rest of everything. subject, object, field of play.
1. some small part of the human population bullies, the rest of us just wish they would stop but does not want usually to fight them by their rules because they would likely win & organisms want to live. the bullies by and large are stupid just like the passives so it is possible within limits to continue one's heresies if one's normal mask is good enough & one is smart enough to find a corrupt safe zone as will always be found in human governance everywhere. there are the deviant acts that the deviants like, one thing. the desire to bring display versions of that life style into the normal public with its bully component creates flash points of emotion, is that what we wanted, deviants? no. gotta calm them with our mutual humanity & otherwise competent ordinariness. opiate user with perfect work record. porn actor picking up kids after school, take them to piano lesson.
the importance of these various behaviors is obvious to the practitioners, prone to abuse & obsession though they may be as can also of course such perfectly ordinary "normal" activities as doing business and eating. in most periods of human history they did what they did in deep private, everybody knew, if they tolerated the weirdness it was because of the practitioner's otherwise pure & useful character.
most of human history: any response other than "yes sir" was treason punishable by immediate death. whatever they said. bullies. that's all that governments used to be.
2. victim victual
there it is in the language. the victor victimizes the victual. it dies in delicious agony, its blood dripping onto my tongue as i crunch down on its throat with my teeth, tail twitching, ears back, growling,waiting. it kicks at me, us lying on the ground, i kick back, claws rake belly, more blood. it twitches, shudders, relaxes, i get up, roar, bat its head, roll around, pee, eat the victim. it is delicious.
that is what victory means. all of the solemn heartfelt stuff is sentimental landscaping. the victim lying there has stopped being a problem and has become lunch.
so when we conquer our sins & the sin lies there relaxed, torn & dead, it has turned into food of a sort, we could eat it ourselves or we could be induced to give it away to the poor or to the lord. it is delicious, delicious the agony of its defeat & death. ready to be recycled, building blocks of the victorious organism.
3. the essential element of self-direction is to find the edge of the comfort zone & to probe past it & try to colonize some of the discomfort zone. to not actively do that is the essential element of "normal." "normal" doesn't like something & all it wants to do is not deal with it. self-directed will examine the situation, see what its like, maybe something can be done, a way to function in a new situation. new parents for example drop their otherwise culturally normal behavior around poop during the kid's diaper years. they get used to it. they learn to like beer, learn to like sex, learn to like celibacy, learn to like danger, pain, parties.
4. normal
in phone conversation with a friend of my wife. we are going on, me in a slightly absurdist tendency as is my well known wont, having a good time. i convey some aspect of the banter to my wife, purely factual, wife does an annoy: i know about that, people don't like you to talk to other people while you're on the phone. she likes to do that particular annoy, will on occasion criticize my behavior in public if she gets sufficiently self-involved. faced with that kind of totalitarian "because i said so & everyone else agrees with me" the independent organism recoils & wants to do the thing deemed offensive more to "show her." but no, just to go on with the show, actors all, each the star of our own play.
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