because we don't talk about sex with our kids we convey no concepts of too much, not enough, etc.
because we don't talk about drugs with our kids we convey no concept of how much is too much, what they're good for, how to deal with problems in self/others, etc.
a guy on the radio wrote a book, was a soldier, studied & practiced war, now a reporter. he commented on how the libyan freedom fighters are untrained kids who don't know what to look for so they are ineffective and unsafe in battle. study of war is a specialized discipline, but there is an organization that teaches it. with sex and drugs there are only private mostly underground organizations and individuals that teach those things. if one wants to discuss methods and ends with children, they being the ones who needs those data most, trouble proceeds, often to the point of legal issues.
war reporter described how the freelibs were retreating down a road & he observed how the mortar rounds were following them down the road, so he knew the kind & level of training of the mortar crew, but the freelibs hadn't had the training so they were making mistakes & some were getting killed.
never when i was in school did anyone ever come in & say: kids, i'm going to show you how the athenians beat the persians at marathon. war was never discussed as such, they were part of history: there was this war & that war, the result was whatever it was, but the mechanics, tactics, strategy of war was never addressed.
and of course fighting was not addressed either, in gym for example. not even from the standpoint of how to break up fights. even we were never explicitly advised to go get a grownup whenever a fight happened. the subject was completely ignored. bullying was everywhere when i was in school, grownups only interfered if it got really bad.
anyway, all of this information could be freely available, and is more or less unfreely available, depending on one's location. want to know something go to the experts.
a tweeter who is a legal sex worker & activist for sex worker rights i follow barfed all over about the presence of a nursing baby in what was described as an otherwise lesbian porn movie. didn't see it. don't know if a DA could make something of it child abuse-wise. probably not useful.
i can imagine a society of sex without social consequences though i do not see a way to create such a culture with what we have. the parental dyad becomes a parental level, every kid becomes the beloved child of all adults. parents, kids, all circulate freely in their levels, bullshit & ripoff don't happen, everyone is safe & free. people can have sex any way they want because everyone is smart about hygiene & conception & psychology & knows themselves. no jealousy, no violence.
in that culture the mother & the lover make love while the baby nurses, the lover was part of the birth team, the guy in the kitchen cooking the food is the dad & knows both of them well. his friend over for a couple of days, they all know him too. kids come in from playing, see the mom thing happening in the corner, no interest. If they did mom might hand them the baby to take care of. there is a religion there that mandates intelligence & universal love. they have figured out what to do with their predator tendencies. they do not abuse each other. they don't do jealousy. they don't have rich & poor. everybody helps everybody.
the ethical progress is that something comes up with, you know, life that has to be dealt with & you put down the sex & deal with it (baby, etc.) obsession is the problem: loss of balance, the not taking care of the business of life & rolling around in one's obsession to the neglect of that business. not the object of obsession. the obsession is innocent. the gun just sits there, the drug, the sacred text, the ritual dance.
the loudest voices are those trying to sweep subjects under rugs. the core issue is coercion. we have two methods of coercion: violent & symbolic aka financial. if coercion is not a factor then we are free to explore a lot more possibilities in life. we do not live in such a world, so we have to be careful. it is not actually possible to talk about some of those possibilities. we don't have the words, the languages we use do not allow certain possibilities.
i think that there is actually a gradient between "me" & "us" & "them" & "it."
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